Monday, 31 August 2009


With shirts like Juventus the number one Geordie team has a long legacy of not a whole of accomplishment attached to it.

In recent years Newcastle has played home stars like Kevin Keegan, Peter Beardsley and Paul Gascoigne and even had the first Brazilian player in the country in Mirandinho.

Sunday, 23 August 2009


Despite its apparent delusions of grandeur Fulham is the most pointless football club in London.

Wednesday, 19 August 2009


Norwich is a yellow team from East Anglia that along with Ipswich Town has something of a superiority complex. They also have the naffest local rivalry in football with their Tractor Boy cousins. I went to Carrow Road once and I never intend to go there again. Norwich is a strange place.

There club nickname is The Canaries. What kind of identity is that to have?

I once had an “incident” with a drunken Norwich fan on a train home. It all culminated with him calling me “Bermondsey scum”.

Sadly they are probably most famous for having Delia Smith as an owner, all of which culminated with her embarrassing halftime rant a few years ago. Quite frankly Norwich is a club that should swish around in a dress.

Tuesday, 18 August 2009


Oldham is a club that had a bit of life about them back in the nineties as they crept into the top flight with real fire and got to an FA Cup final. Unfortunately things slightly fell apart for them and currently they languish in the third division (Division One).

Thursday, 13 August 2009


Outside a small part of East London you get the impression that West Ham United is not a very popular club. Perhaps it is for the manner in which their supporters can often be heard insisting that it was their club that won the 1966 World Cup for England.

This is Trevor Brooking’s club and that is no fun.

They are very popular in Essex.

Their most famous supporters are Alf Garnett and Ray Winstone.

Saturday, 1 August 2009


Crystal Palace are a strange club. Despite being from deep South London they still exude some kind of arrogance and pride that really does not seem or feel justified when viewed from an external perspective.

In recent memory I think this reputation has been peppered by first the antics of Ian Wright (now co-host on perhaps the most moronic television show in history) and the fluffy haired aspirations of the blonde and orange moneyman Simon Jordan (seemingly a success in all fields barring football it would seem).

Over the years their kit has changed from a Thunderbirds motif to the equally laughable FC Barcelona colour scheme. What on earth is that about?

They consider themselves the main rivals of Millwall but that only works one way considering West Ham are in that equation from the Millwall perspective. That said Crystal Palace (known as “The Beagles” by Lions supporters) do have a recent history of always turning over their neighbours.

Their ground Selhurst Park has also in recent years played host to Charlton Athletic and Wimbledon in their days of need.