CREWE ALEXANDRA

The most famous fact about Crewe Alexandra is that Dario Gradi has been their manager for 100 years.

I once saw a great game between Millwall and Crewe where Millwall did everything in their power (and Crewe’s assistance) to blow the game before Dennis Wise “earned” a penalty and ‘Wall eventually won 4-3.

HARTLEPOOL

The only thing people know about Hartlepool is that Jeff Stelling supports them.

MK DONS

Milton Keynes Dons are a disgrace of a football club. Nicknamed “Franchise” by the majority of the footballing world they are the club that purchased Wimbledon’s status and heritage (ergo they are the Dons) and in the process killed one of the most notorious clubs in history.

ASTON VILLA

Situated in Birmingham Aston Villa are best known for having a silly name and brown shirts.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR

Perhaps best known for their rivalry with Arsenal rather than any actual feats on the pitch, Tottenham supporters refer to themselves as “Yids” so I think they might be something of a Jewish club.

LEICESTER CITY

Nicknamed “The Foxes” this club is Gary Lineker’s baby. As a result of this and the connotations of being associated with one of the “reader’s wives” these days they are a tough club to like.

LIVERPOOL FC

When I first got into football I used to like Liverpool because they had Jan Molby in their team and to the day he remains one of my all time favourite players mainly because it was great to see a fat boy flourish at football.

It subsequent years however the sad spectacle of the whining Scouse has only served to belittle the team/club and make them one of the more annoying clubs in the “big four.”

HUDDERSFIELD TOWN

I know Huddersfield for two things: having a Yorkshire Terrier on their club badge and being the team that Manchester City once beat 10-0 having three players score a hat-trick in one game.

COLCHESTER UNITED

Colchester United is a fantastic little club, rough and an awkward place for clubs to visit. I once bought a flat just because it was on Layer Road which for several years was the home of Colchester United.

At one point in history the chairman of Colchester United was comedian Frank Carson.

MANCHESTER UNITED

When I was five for Christmas my parents bought me a Manchester United football bag for school. Immediately I resisted it which probably broke the heart of my old man considering he is a lifelong supporter of the club.

Manchester United are the New York Yankees of football. After possessing one of the greatest teams through the sixties and seventies after a sour hiccup during most of the eighties in the modern era of football (the Sky TV era of football reinvention) they have emerged once more as the most decorated and successful club in history.