EXETER CITY

I once went to Exeter while on tour and after the gig I wound up staying (with the band) at a stranger’s house. The guy (our host), a pissed geek called Andy, repeatedly played the first Streets album before getting stoned and eventually showing us some kind of bestiality porn on his laptop featuring a horse fucking a woman. This promptly caused our bass player to begin freaking out. Just what this has to do with the football team is open to debate but with regards to the city that is the problem with first impressions, you only get to make them once.

WYCOMBE WANDERERS

It’s still slightly difficult to consider Wycombe Wanderers a league club. It is from that era (the conference days) that they have something of a heated rivalry with Colchester United as they literally went head to head to promotion into the football league.

BRIGHTON & HOVE ALBION

Brighton & Hove Albion is a strange football club. They were actually one of the teams at my first ever football match when they played Ipswich in 1986. This was only a few years after they had played Manchester United in the FA Cup final, taking them to a replay at Wembley. These days however they suck balls, playing in a barely functional stadium. Such is life.

For a while, being their most famous supporter, Norman Cook provided the shirt sponsorship. Not ideal.

In recent years they were unfortunately part of one of the most ridiculous football hooliganism stories as a reporter attended their game against Millwall at The New Den where fans were supposed/believed to be heard shouting “Seig Heil!” where in reality it was the sarcastic tones of “Seagulls”. Then again perhaps football teams should have such stupid nicknames and weird associations with weird beasts and creatures.

There isn’t really anything offensive about Brighton & Hove Albion just an overriding sadness.

BRENTFORD FC

Brentford are technically a London club but being situated in the outer reaches of the city and never having really made it to the higher levels of football they’ve failed to really ruffle feathers.

BIRMINGHAM CITY

Having experienced a fair fluctuation of fortunes over the years Birmingham City have always found themselves wrestling with Aston Villa for the honour of being the premier football club in England’s “second city”. Often they have found themselves runners up.